Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Getting out of my own way...
It's a little after 3:30am and, you guessed it, I can't sleep. After a full day of creating jewelry and taking care of a few household duties, I sit, "bright eyed and bushy tailed" -as my mom would say- so I thought this would be a good time to update my blog :)
I call this one "Getting out of my own way" because I feel like that's the process I've been going through over the past couple of weeks. With the release of my album (not trying to plug, lol) and a couple of opportunities that have presented themselves to me, I was forced to face the real reason why I haven't progressed further in certain areas of my life and my career- ME.
That's right. I was afraid of the very success I said I wanted. (I even had the nerve to pray and ask God for it!) How crazy does that sound? The spotlight seems a bit scary once millions of people know who you are and they're watching what you do. Naturally, you want to be perfect, not make any mistakes or piss anyone off, cause, who wants to have enemies? So I made plenty of personal excuses to justify why I should only go so far in the music industry and then not go past that point. To me, it was cool if only a handful of people knew about me and my music as long as I made enough money to live a decent life that allowed me and those around me to build wealth for our families as well as travel the world-while still being "normal people".
BUT there's a huge problem with this philosophy. You can never truly know your full potential if you don't push past your point of fear. If you stop when you start thinking "I can't afford this", "It's too late", "I'm too old", " I've got kids", "No one's gonna be interested in what I have to say" and so on, then you will be blocking your own way to the path of your life. You'll make an excuse for why it's ok to stay right there and will be forced to wonder "what if..." for the rest of your life.
Somewhere in my mid twenties, I promised myself that I would live my life with no regrets. That I was gonna go for my dreams no matter what. Thanks to a few of my close friends and my family, I found the strength to push past my own fears and get out of my own way.
Thanks for reading :)
P.S. I hope this all makes sense, lol!